(Driving in a car)

Joe: Man, it's good to be home.

Birhtwold: We're not there yet. We have a stop to make.

Joe: Where?

Kells: Pick up Links.

Joe: Argh! Well. Alright. We’re in. We get Links. We’re out.

Kells: Um, no.

Joe: What do you mean, no?

Birhtwold: We’re staying for dinner.

Joe: No. No way. What are you guys? Crazy? No. You can just drop me off here.

Birhtwold: Oh, no. You’re staying with us. We owe him.

Kells: He watched Links. It’s the least we could do.

(Joe slumps down, arms crossed)

Birhtwold: You can pout all you want, but you’re coming with us.

Joe: Fine.

(Car slows down, turns corner, enters neighborhood)

Kells: Hey! There's Hassan! Stop for a sec.

Kells: (calls out of window): What are you up to, Hassan?

Hassan (snaps head up, looks surprised): Huh? What? I'm not up to anything! Why would you ask? Do I look like I'm up to something?

Kells: No, just haven't seen you in a while. Where've you been?

Hassan: Just studying. Lots of studying. Not at a pilot school or anything. Just studying.

Kells: Um. O.k. We'll see you around. Good luck with the studying.

(Hassan nods, continues to walk. Car drives off).

Birhtwold: Well, that was weird.

Kells: Yeah. That's not the Hassan I know. I wonder what's up.

Joe: Didn't you hear him? He's studying. Probably has a big test he's worried about.

Kells: I guess so.

(Car pulls up at driveway; everyone gets out. Kells rings doorbell; Jarl opens door)

Birhtwold: Jarl! How you doin'? How’d everything go?

Jarl: No problems. Everything was fine. And I'm great. Come on in.

(Everyone walks in, then looks around in awe)

Kells: I’ve never seen so many Legos in one place.

Joe: Dude, that’s the twin towers!

Birhtwold: There’s the Pentagon! And a life size image of the Pope.

Kells: The marines at Iwo Jima! Man, how’d you do that? Is that the . . .

Jarl: U.S.S. Cole? Yup. And here’s my latest! (Takes cover off )

Birhtwold: It’s a Lego version of Mohamed with the bomb for a turban! Amazing!

Jarl: I’ll let you check out more of the stuff later. I’m starving! Let’s eat!

Joe (looking very dismayed): That’s an awful lot of cheese.

Jarl: It’s Havarti.

Joe: I know.

Kells: It’s three grocery stores worth of Havarti.

Jarl: Gotta support Denmark.

Joe: Yeah, whatever happened with that? Are Muslims still boycotting Denmark?

Birhtwold: Don’t know. Haven’t heard anything in the news.

Jarl: Well, dig in.

Joe (whispering to Kells): Well, at least we’ll get some decent beer.

Jarl (upon hearing the word "beer"): I’m sorry; I’ve run out of beer.

Joe: What? No more Carlsberg?

Jarl: No, but not to fear. I have cherry Kijafa. Lots of it.

Joe (slumps in chair): That’s what I was afraid of.

Birhtwold: Well, at least Denmark halfway stood up to them. Europe is in a quagmire.

Jarl: What's sad is that standing up consists of drawing cartoons. I don't want to minimize that. Those artists put their lives on the line. But where are the warriors?

Skald: Where is Scyld Scefing, shield to his people? Where is Hrothgar, famous spear, generous giver of rings? Where is Cnut, conqueror, bringer of peace? "Where is the horse gone? Where the rider? Where the giver of treasure? Where are the seats at the feast? Where are the revels in the hall? Alas for the bright cup! Alas for the mailed warrior! Alas for the splendour of the prince! How that time has passed away, dark under the cover of night, as if it had never been!"

(Brief silence)

Jarl: Yeah. That's what I meant. How did we get from demanding Danegeld to giving it? Oh, well. What are you going to do?

Birhtwold: First the Danes and now the Pope.

Jarl: Oh, yeah! I’ve been tracking that. We’ve got to do something about it.

Kells: You didn’t order thousands of rosary beads, did you?

(Brief silence)

Jarl: Um. Well... So, you think I should cancel that?

Kells: Considering you're not Catholic...

Jarl: Well, I was going to donate them.

Birhtwold: So, where's Links? I don't even hear him. He's been awfully quiet. Not like him.

Jarl: Yeah, I had to do something about that. Incredible racket at first.

(Jarl leads them into another room).

Jarl: There he is!

Kells: Whoa! He's surrounded by Lego statues of Reagan, Newt, Coulter, Sowell, and Scalia. Look at him! He's comatose!

Jarl: I tried W, but that fired him up again, so I moved W to another room.

Birhtwold: Is that a picture of Clinton on the bottom of his cage?

Jarl: Yeah. He hasn't gone since I put it there. Saved me some cleaning.

Joe: Holy-

Kells: Don't say it. Man, we're going to be in for it when we get him home.

Birhtwold: Jarl, my man, you did an awesome job. Might have to borrow that Lego Reagan.

Jarl: Any time, any time.

(The lads say good night, shuffle out the door, and head on home).

Notes:

1. Thanks to BrianR for the use of Hassan. Check out his blog post:

http://viewfromtheisland.townhall.com/g/bedb25c3-c69d-4993-b666-60afa2491bff&comments=true#comments

2. Quotes from Skald’s lines taken from The Wanderer, an Old English poem. Check out the whole thing here:

http://www.anglo-saxons.net/hwaet/?do=get&type=text&id=Wdr

3. The word "Lego" and "Legos" are trademarked or something. Hey, Lego people! How about Lego Statue of Liberty, White House, etc. kits? That would be cool.